The Snap Count Hex of Jared Goff
Jared Goff · DET · QB
“Goff will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.” — The Hex-Pert
More ways the witch ruins Goff's week
- Goff gets benched in a blowout at halftime. The team then comes back. He watches. Smiling.
- Goff takes a knee 3 times with the lead. History books will not mention the fantasy cost.
72%POTENCY
-11PTS DRAINED
Eye-Roll MaterialVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A used challenge flag
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Goff drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Josh Allen
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Drake Maye
- Joe Burrow
- Caleb Williams
- Jayden Daniels
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
FAQ
How do I curse Jared Goff in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jared Goff is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jared Goff actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.