The Intentional Grounding Hex of Jared Goff
Jared Goff · DET · QB
“Coach will call 4 straight handoffs inside the 5. For Goff, the end zone is a rumor.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Goff's week
- Goff is hit with a "pre-existing condition" that was not pre-existing until just now.
- Goff goes down with a "tweak" in a game that was already won. Never even needed him.
72%POTENCY
-18.2PTS DRAINED
Ruined BrunchVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Goff's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Josh Allen
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Drake Maye
- Joe Burrow
- Caleb Williams
- Jayden Daniels
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
FAQ
How do I curse Jared Goff in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jared Goff is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jared Goff actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.