The Pick-Six Hex of Jared Goff
Jared Goff · DET · QB
“Goff gets benched in a blowout at halftime. The team then comes back. He watches. Smiling.” — The Hex-Pert
More ways the witch ruins Goff's week
- Goff will throw for 340 yards and 0 touchdowns. The efficiency of a parking ticket.
- Goff gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of California's biggest rival.
87%POTENCY
-18.3PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- A used challenge flag
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Goff drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Josh Allen
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Drake Maye
- Joe Burrow
- Caleb Williams
- Jayden Daniels
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
FAQ
How do I curse Jared Goff in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jared Goff is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jared Goff actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.