The Intentional Grounding Hex of Jared Goff
Jared Goff · DET · QB
“Goff gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of California's biggest rival.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins Goff's week
- Goff will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.
- Goff gets "rested" in a week the team clinched nothing.
90%POTENCY
-14.5PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Powdered kicker confidence
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Goff drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Josh Allen
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Drake Maye
- Joe Burrow
- Jayden Daniels
- Caleb Williams
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
FAQ
How do I curse Jared Goff in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jared Goff is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jared Goff actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.