The Sideline-Scold Hex of Jared Goff
Jared Goff · DET · QB
“Goff gets a stat correction that takes away 2.4 points, 4 days later, at 3:17 AM.” — Granny Gridiron
More ways the witch ruins Goff's week
- Goff will be pressured on 9 of 10 dropbacks. The tenth is a screen that gets blown up for a loss.
- Goff gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of California's biggest rival.
88%POTENCY
-14.7PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- A single tear from a Texans fan
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Goff drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Josh Allen
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Drake Maye
- Joe Burrow
- Jayden Daniels
- Caleb Williams
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
FAQ
How do I curse Jared Goff in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jared Goff is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jared Goff actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.