The Hamstring Hex of Jared Goff
Jared Goff · DET · QB
“Goff's best play of the day happens on a play where he is not the ball carrier.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Goff's week
- Goff finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- Goff will scan the entire field, find nobody open, and take a 9-yard sack for his trouble.
84%POTENCY
-13.8PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Goff drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Josh Allen
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Drake Maye
- Joe Burrow
- Caleb Williams
- Jayden Daniels
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
FAQ
How do I curse Jared Goff in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jared Goff is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jared Goff actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.