The Sideline-Scold Hex of Jared Goff
Jared Goff · DET · QB
“Goff gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of California's biggest rival.” — Baba Blitz
More ways the witch ruins Goff's week
- Goff gets "rested" in a week the team clinched nothing.
- Goff is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
75%POTENCY
-15.7PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- A used challenge flag
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- Powdered kicker confidence
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Goff's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Josh Allen
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Drake Maye
- Joe Burrow
- Caleb Williams
- Jayden Daniels
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
FAQ
How do I curse Jared Goff in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jared Goff is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jared Goff actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.