The Sideline-Scold Hex of Jared Goff
Jared Goff · DET · QB
“Goff will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Goff's week
- Goff scores 0 fantasy points and is somehow also responsible for 2 turnovers.
- Goff will throw a pick-six, then a safety, then apologize to his offensive line in the post-game presser.
82%POTENCY
-15.1PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Goff's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Josh Allen
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Drake Maye
- Joe Burrow
- Caleb Williams
- Jayden Daniels
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
FAQ
How do I curse Jared Goff in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jared Goff is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jared Goff actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.