The Hamstring Hex of Jared Goff
Jared Goff · DET · QB
“Goff gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of California's biggest rival.” — Hexcellent Hilda
More ways the witch ruins Goff's week
- Goff gets benched in a blowout at halftime. The team then comes back. He watches. Smiling.
- Goff is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
92%POTENCY
-14.7PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Powdered kicker confidence
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Goff's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Josh Allen
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Drake Maye
- Joe Burrow
- Jayden Daniels
- Caleb Williams
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
FAQ
How do I curse Jared Goff in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jared Goff is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jared Goff actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.