The Kneel-Down Hex of Jared Goff
Jared Goff · DET · QB
“Garbage time arrives early for Goff: 29 points of garbage, scored by the other team.” — Aunt Prevent
More ways the witch ruins Goff's week
- A mysterious flag erases Goff's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.
- The broadcast shows Goff on the sideline with an ice pack for the entire 4th quarter.
81%POTENCY
-12.6PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Buccaneers locker room
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Goff's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Josh Allen
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Drake Maye
- Joe Burrow
- Caleb Williams
- Jayden Daniels
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
FAQ
How do I curse Jared Goff in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jared Goff is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jared Goff actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.