The Hamstring Hex of Jared Goff
Jared Goff · DET · QB
“A mysterious flag erases Goff's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.” — Madame Waiver Wire
More ways the witch ruins Goff's week
- Goff will scan the entire field, find nobody open, and take a 9-yard sack for his trouble.
- Goff finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
81%POTENCY
-17.1PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
Incantation
Goff, Goff, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Josh Allen
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Drake Maye
- Joe Burrow
- Jayden Daniels
- Caleb Williams
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
FAQ
How do I curse Jared Goff in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jared Goff is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jared Goff actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.