The Late Scratch Hex of Jared Goff
Jared Goff · DET · QB
“Goff gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of California's biggest rival.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Goff's week
- Goff finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- Ref: "Number Goff, that's a flag." Goff: "What flag?" Ref: "The one on the previous TD."
83%POTENCY
-19.1PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Goff's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Josh Allen
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Drake Maye
- Joe Burrow
- Jayden Daniels
- Caleb Williams
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
FAQ
How do I curse Jared Goff in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jared Goff is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jared Goff actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.