The Checkdown Hex of Jared Goff
Jared Goff · DET · QB
“Goff will throw for 340 yards and 0 touchdowns. The efficiency of a parking ticket.” — Aunt Prevent
More ways the witch ruins Goff's week
- Goff gets the 3rd-and-long checkdown treatment. 2 yards. Punt. Repeat until Monday.
- Goff is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.
87%POTENCY
-18.7PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
Incantation
Eye of Jets, tongue of ref,
Bring Lions down to grief,
Goff scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Josh Allen
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Drake Maye
- Joe Burrow
- Jayden Daniels
- Caleb Williams
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
FAQ
How do I curse Jared Goff in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jared Goff is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jared Goff actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.