The Late Scratch Hex of Jared Goff
Jared Goff · DET · QB
“Goff finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — Nana Nickelback
More ways the witch ruins Goff's week
- Garbage time arrives early for Goff: 29 points of garbage, scored by the other team.
- Goff tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.
92%POTENCY
-10.7PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Bears locker room
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
Incantation
By the pale blue light of the injury tag,
Goff, hear me, and start to lag,
Your best play is a flag. Your worst is the bag.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Josh Allen
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Drake Maye
- Joe Burrow
- Jayden Daniels
- Caleb Williams
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
FAQ
How do I curse Jared Goff in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jared Goff is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jared Goff actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.