The Inactive-at-11:58 Hex of Jared Goff
Jared Goff · DET · QB
“Goff slides before the first-down marker, a moral victory for his health and nobody else.” — Aunt Prevent
More ways the witch ruins Goff's week
- Goff finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- Goff gets "rested" in a week the team clinched nothing.
88%POTENCY
-9.4PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
Incantation
By the pale blue light of the injury tag,
Goff, hear me, and start to lag,
Your best play is a flag. Your worst is the bag.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Josh Allen
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Drake Maye
- Joe Burrow
- Caleb Williams
- Jayden Daniels
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
FAQ
How do I curse Jared Goff in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jared Goff is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jared Goff actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.