The Intentional Grounding Hex of Jared Goff
Jared Goff · DET · QB
“Goff leads a 14-play, 9-minute drive that ends in a field goal. Fantasy points: 1.6.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Goff's week
- Goff will throw a pick-six, then a safety, then apologize to his offensive line in the post-game presser.
- The play clock hits zero on Goff four separate times. Five yards. Five yards. Five yards.
80%POTENCY
-14.3PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Goff's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Josh Allen
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Drake Maye
- Joe Burrow
- Jayden Daniels
- Caleb Williams
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
FAQ
How do I curse Jared Goff in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jared Goff is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jared Goff actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.