The Intentional Grounding Hex of Jared Goff
Jared Goff · DET · QB
“Goff goes down with a "tweak" in a game that was already won. Never even needed him.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins Goff's week
- Goff gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of California's biggest rival.
- Goff leads a 14-play, 9-minute drive that ends in a field goal. Fantasy points: 1.6.
73%POTENCY
-11PTS DRAINED
Eye-Roll MaterialVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Eagles locker room
- An unused timeout (still warm)
Incantation
By horn of fumbled ball,
By sack that drops them all,
Goff, drop it, trip it, fall!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Josh Allen
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Drake Maye
- Joe Burrow
- Jayden Daniels
- Caleb Williams
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
FAQ
How do I curse Jared Goff in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jared Goff is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jared Goff actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.