The Checkdown Hex of Jared Goff
Jared Goff · DET · QB
“Goff gets "rested" in a week the team clinched nothing.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins Goff's week
- Goff will be pressured on 9 of 10 dropbacks. The tenth is a screen that gets blown up for a loss.
- Coach will call 4 straight handoffs inside the 5. For Goff, the end zone is a rumor.
73%POTENCY
-18.4PTS DRAINED
Ruined BrunchVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- A single tear from a Falcons fan
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
Incantation
Goff, Goff, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Josh Allen
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Drake Maye
- Joe Burrow
- Caleb Williams
- Jayden Daniels
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
FAQ
How do I curse Jared Goff in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jared Goff is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jared Goff actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.