The Mystery Tweak Hex of Jared Goff
Jared Goff · DET · QB
“Goff's best play of the day happens on a play where he is not the ball carrier.” — Lady Last-Minute Scratch
More ways the witch ruins Goff's week
- Every deep ball Goff throws lands exactly one inch out of bounds.
- Goff slides before the first-down marker, a moral victory for his health and nobody else.
80%POTENCY
-9.2PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Goff's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Josh Allen
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Drake Maye
- Joe Burrow
- Caleb Williams
- Jayden Daniels
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
FAQ
How do I curse Jared Goff in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jared Goff is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jared Goff actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.