The Sideline-Scold Hex of Jared Goff
Jared Goff · DET · QB
“Goff gets hit on the arm in the first quarter and "plays through it" at 41% accuracy.” — Hexcellent Hilda
More ways the witch ruins Goff's week
- Goff is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.
- Goff gets the 3rd-and-long checkdown treatment. 2 yards. Punt. Repeat until Monday.
85%POTENCY
-17.7PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Commanders locker room
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
Incantation
Eye of Buccaneers, tongue of ref,
Bring Lions down to grief,
Goff scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Josh Allen
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Drake Maye
- Joe Burrow
- Caleb Williams
- Jayden Daniels
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
FAQ
How do I curse Jared Goff in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jared Goff is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jared Goff actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.