The Sideline-Scold Hex of Jared Goff
Jared Goff · DET · QB
“Coach will call 4 straight handoffs inside the 5. For Goff, the end zone is a rumor.” — Aunt Prevent
More ways the witch ruins Goff's week
- Goff gets benched in a blowout at halftime. The team then comes back. He watches. Smiling.
- Goff gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of California's biggest rival.
78%POTENCY
-14PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
- Powdered kicker confidence
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Goff's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Josh Allen
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Drake Maye
- Joe Burrow
- Jayden Daniels
- Caleb Williams
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
FAQ
How do I curse Jared Goff in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jared Goff is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jared Goff actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.