The Hamstring Hex of Jared Goff
Jared Goff · DET · QB
“Goff gets the 3rd-and-long checkdown treatment. 2 yards. Punt. Repeat until Monday.” — Baba Blitz
More ways the witch ruins Goff's week
- A mysterious flag erases Goff's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.
- Goff will throw for 340 yards and 0 touchdowns. The efficiency of a parking ticket.
81%POTENCY
-17.8PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single Rams jersey, ironically worn
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Goff drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Josh Allen
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Drake Maye
- Joe Burrow
- Caleb Williams
- Jayden Daniels
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
FAQ
How do I curse Jared Goff in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jared Goff is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jared Goff actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.