The Stuffed Run Hex of Jordan James
Jordan James · SF · RB
“The broadcast shows James on the sideline with an ice pack for the entire 4th quarter.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins James's week
- James gets stuffed so hard the broadcast shows a replay in slow motion, from three angles.
- James finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
90%POTENCY
-13.3PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- Powdered kicker confidence
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
James's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Bijan Robinson
- Christian McCaffrey
- Jonathan Taylor
- James Cook III
- Derrick Henry
- Saquon Barkley
- Omarion Hampton
- Ashton Jeanty
- Kyren Williams
- Chase Brown
- Kenneth Walker III
FAQ
How do I curse Jordan James in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jordan James is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jordan James actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.