The Goal-Line Vulture Hex of Jordan James
Jordan James · SF · RB
“James finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — Baba Blitz
More ways the witch ruins James's week
- James runs for 98 yards, one short of the bonus, then goes down on the kneel-down. Scorched.
- James's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.
89%POTENCY
-15.1PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Patriots locker room
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
Incantation
By horn of fumbled ball,
By sack that drops them all,
James, drop it, trip it, fall!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Bijan Robinson
- Christian McCaffrey
- Jonathan Taylor
- James Cook III
- Derrick Henry
- Saquon Barkley
- Omarion Hampton
- Ashton Jeanty
- Kyren Williams
- Chase Brown
- Kenneth Walker III
FAQ
How do I curse Jordan James in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jordan James is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jordan James actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.