The Late Scratch Hex of Ka'imi Fairbairn
Ka'imi Fairbairn · HOU · K
“Fairbairn kicks a perfect ball into the end zone... and it is a kickoff. For the other team.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Fairbairn's week
- Fairbairn gets "rested" in a week the team clinched nothing.
- Fairbairn is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
74%POTENCY
-12.6PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A single tear from a Cardinals fan
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Fairbairn's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Nico Collins
- David Montgomery
- Marvin Harrison Jr.
- Brandon Aubrey
- Dalton Schultz
- C.J. Stroud
- Woody Marks
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
FAQ
How do I curse Ka'imi Fairbairn in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Ka'imi Fairbairn is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Ka'imi Fairbairn actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.