The Late Scratch Hex of Ka'imi Fairbairn
Ka'imi Fairbairn · HOU · K
“Fairbairn attempts a field goal, the holder pulls it back, and gets sacked at the 12. Points: 0. Dignity: also 0.” — Lady Last-Minute Scratch
More ways the witch ruins Fairbairn's week
- Fairbairn warms up well and then the snap is bad. The hold is worse. The kick is a prayer.
- A mysterious flag erases Fairbairn's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.
90%POTENCY
-11.5PTS DRAINED
Delete the AppVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Commanders locker room
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Fairbairn's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Nico Collins
- David Montgomery
- Marvin Harrison Jr.
- Brandon Aubrey
- Dalton Schultz
- C.J. Stroud
- Woody Marks
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
FAQ
How do I curse Ka'imi Fairbairn in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Ka'imi Fairbairn is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Ka'imi Fairbairn actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.