The Shank Hex of Ka'imi Fairbairn
Ka'imi Fairbairn · HOU · K
“Fairbairn gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of UCLA's biggest rival.” — Sister Sack
More ways the witch ruins Fairbairn's week
- The wind in the stadium is 22 mph. Fairbairn is aware. The ball is aware. Only the ball cares.
- Fairbairn gets one attempt: a 63-yarder into a headwind. Wide left. 0 points. 1 tear.
92%POTENCY
-17.5PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- Powdered kicker confidence
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Broncos locker room
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
Incantation
By the pale blue light of the injury tag,
Fairbairn, hear me, and start to lag,
Your best play is a flag. Your worst is the bag.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Nico Collins
- David Montgomery
- Marvin Harrison Jr.
- Brandon Aubrey
- Dalton Schultz
- C.J. Stroud
- Woody Marks
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
FAQ
How do I curse Ka'imi Fairbairn in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Ka'imi Fairbairn is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Ka'imi Fairbairn actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.