The Late Scratch Hex of Ka'imi Fairbairn
Ka'imi Fairbairn · HOU · K
“Fairbairn finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Fairbairn's week
- Fairbairn gets one attempt: a 63-yarder into a headwind. Wide left. 0 points. 1 tear.
- Fairbairn gets "rested" in a week the team clinched nothing.
76%POTENCY
-12.5PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Fairbairn's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Nico Collins
- David Montgomery
- Marvin Harrison Jr.
- Brandon Aubrey
- Dalton Schultz
- C.J. Stroud
- Woody Marks
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
FAQ
How do I curse Ka'imi Fairbairn in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Ka'imi Fairbairn is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Ka'imi Fairbairn actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.