The Fumble Hex of Kaytron Allen
Kaytron Allen · MIA · RB
“Allen goes down with a "tweak" in a game that was already won. Never even needed him.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Allen's week
- Allen is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
- Allen gets 3 yards per carry and one 2-yard catch on a screen. Efficient. In a sad way.
90%POTENCY
-14.8PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- A single Jaguars jersey, ironically worn
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Chiefs locker room
Incantation
Allen, Allen, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Bijan Robinson
- Christian McCaffrey
- Jonathan Taylor
- James Cook III
- Derrick Henry
- Saquon Barkley
- Omarion Hampton
- Ashton Jeanty
- Kyren Williams
- Chase Brown
- Kenneth Walker III
FAQ
How do I curse Kaytron Allen in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Kaytron Allen is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Kaytron Allen actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.