The Goal-Line Vulture Hex of Kaytron Allen
Kaytron Allen · MIA · RB
“Rookie Allen gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins Allen's week
- Allen gets stuffed so hard the broadcast shows a replay in slow motion, from three angles.
- Ref: "Number Allen, that's a flag." Allen: "What flag?" Ref: "The one on the previous TD."
73%POTENCY
-12.5PTS DRAINED
Ruined BrunchVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
Incantation
Allen, Allen, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Bijan Robinson
- Christian McCaffrey
- Jonathan Taylor
- James Cook III
- Derrick Henry
- Saquon Barkley
- Omarion Hampton
- Ashton Jeanty
- Kyren Williams
- Chase Brown
- Kenneth Walker III
FAQ
How do I curse Kaytron Allen in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Kaytron Allen is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Kaytron Allen actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.