The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Keaton Mitchell
Keaton Mitchell · LAC · RB
“Mitchell is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Mitchell's week
- Mitchell is already "Questionable" with that hip. The witch only has to push gently.
- Mitchell will fumble on his first touch and live in the doghouse until the 4th quarter.
81%POTENCY
-18.2PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Mitchell drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
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- Kyren Williams
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FAQ
How do I curse Keaton Mitchell in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Keaton Mitchell is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Keaton Mitchell actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.