The Inch-Short Hex of Keenan Allen
Keenan Allen · SF · WR
“Allen tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.” — Aunt Prevent
More ways the witch ruins Allen's week
- Allen drops a wide-open touchdown, then celebrates anyway for 40 seconds.
- At 34, Allen is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.
79%POTENCY
-14PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Allen drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Christian McCaffrey
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Keenan Allen in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Keenan Allen is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Keenan Allen actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.