The Out-of-Bounds Hex of Keenan Allen
Keenan Allen · SF · WR
“Allen goes down with a "tweak" in a game that was already won. Never even needed him.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Allen's week
- At 34, Allen is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.
- The QB looks at Allen exactly once: a 3-yard out on 3rd-and-9.
82%POTENCY
-15.7PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
Incantation
Allen, Allen, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Christian McCaffrey
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Keenan Allen in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Keenan Allen is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Keenan Allen actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.