The Snap Count Hex of Keenan Allen
Keenan Allen · SF · WR
“At 34, Allen is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.” — Baba Blitz
More ways the witch ruins Allen's week
- The QB looks at Allen exactly once: a 3-yard out on 3rd-and-9.
- Allen does a touchdown dance for a TD that is overturned by review. Slowly. With zoom.
85%POTENCY
-12.3PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Allen drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Christian McCaffrey
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Keenan Allen in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Keenan Allen is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Keenan Allen actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.