The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Keenan Allen
Keenan Allen · SF · WR
“Allen's best play of the day happens on a play where he is not the ball carrier.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Allen's week
- At 34, Allen is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.
- Allen is the primary read on every play... for the other team's film study.
75%POTENCY
-9.7PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Texans locker room
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Allen's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Christian McCaffrey
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Keenan Allen in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Keenan Allen is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Keenan Allen actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.