The Hamstring Hex of Keenan Allen
Keenan Allen · SF · WR
“At 34, Allen is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.” — Lady Last-Minute Scratch
More ways the witch ruins Allen's week
- Allen is hit with a "pre-existing condition" that was not pre-existing until just now.
- Allen's best play of the day happens on a play where he is not the ball carrier.
83%POTENCY
-11.9PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A used challenge flag
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- A single Bears jersey, ironically worn
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Allen drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Christian McCaffrey
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Keenan Allen in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Keenan Allen is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Keenan Allen actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.