The Out-of-Bounds Hex of Keenan Allen
Keenan Allen · SF · WR
“A mysterious flag erases Allen's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.” — Nana Nickelback
More ways the witch ruins Allen's week
- At 34, Allen is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.
- Allen sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.
76%POTENCY
-15.1PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Packers locker room
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Allen's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Christian McCaffrey
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Keenan Allen in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Keenan Allen is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Keenan Allen actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.