The Shadow Coverage Hex of Keenan Allen
Keenan Allen · SF · WR
“Allen finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Allen's week
- At 34, Allen is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.
- Allen drops a wide-open touchdown, then celebrates anyway for 40 seconds.
75%POTENCY
-17.4PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
Incantation
Eye of Buccaneers, tongue of ref,
Bring 49ers down to grief,
Allen scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Christian McCaffrey
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Keenan Allen in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Keenan Allen is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Keenan Allen actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.