The Out-of-Bounds Hex of Keenan Allen
Keenan Allen · SF · WR
“Allen gets shadowed by a corner who just signed an extension and needs to prove it.” — Aunt Prevent
More ways the witch ruins Allen's week
- Allen gets a stat correction that takes away 2.4 points, 4 days later, at 3:17 AM.
- Allen gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of California's biggest rival.
80%POTENCY
-13PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- An unused timeout (still warm)
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Allen's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Christian McCaffrey
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Keenan Allen in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Keenan Allen is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Keenan Allen actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.