The Inactive-at-11:58 Hex of Keenan Allen
Keenan Allen · SF · WR
“At 34, Allen is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.” — Hexcellent Hilda
More ways the witch ruins Allen's week
- Allen is hit with a "pre-existing condition" that was not pre-existing until just now.
- Allen will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.
77%POTENCY
-17.8PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- An unused timeout (still warm)
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Allen's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Christian McCaffrey
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Keenan Allen in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Keenan Allen is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Keenan Allen actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.