The Late Scratch Hex of Keenan Allen
Keenan Allen · SF · WR
“At 34, Allen is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.” — Baba Blitz
More ways the witch ruins Allen's week
- Allen gets quarantined by a cornerback named Cornelius who has never been beaten. Ever.
- Allen finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
92%POTENCY
-13PTS DRAINED
Delete the AppVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
Incantation
Allen, Allen, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Christian McCaffrey
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Keenan Allen in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Keenan Allen is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Keenan Allen actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.