The Late Scratch Hex of Keenan Allen
Keenan Allen · SF · WR
“At 34, Allen is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.” — Sister Sack
More ways the witch ruins Allen's week
- Allen gets "rested" in a week the team clinched nothing.
- Allen will be in the end zone. With the ball. And the whistle already blown. Dead ball.
73%POTENCY
-14.4PTS DRAINED
Ruined BrunchVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
Incantation
Eye of Panthers, tongue of ref,
Bring 49ers down to grief,
Allen scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Christian McCaffrey
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Keenan Allen in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Keenan Allen is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Keenan Allen actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.