The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Keenan Allen
Keenan Allen · SF · WR
“At 34, Allen is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Allen's week
- Allen gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of California's biggest rival.
- Allen is questionable with an injury he sustained "reaching for the remote".
88%POTENCY
-17.3PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- A single Broncos jersey, ironically worn
Incantation
Eye of Colts, tongue of ref,
Bring 49ers down to grief,
Allen scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Christian McCaffrey
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Keenan Allen in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Keenan Allen is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Keenan Allen actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.