The Phantom Holding Hex of Matthew Golden
Matthew Golden · GB · WR
“Golden scores a 60-yard TD. It is called back for holding on a guy named Gary.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Golden's week
- Golden finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- A mysterious flag erases Golden's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.
73%POTENCY
-9.5PTS DRAINED
Sunday RuinerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Golden drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Josh Jacobs
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Matthew Golden in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Matthew Golden is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Matthew Golden actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.