The Butter-Finger Hex of Matthew Golden
Matthew Golden · GB · WR
“Golden's coach discovers the run game at the exact moment Golden was due a breakout.” — Hexcellent Hilda
More ways the witch ruins Golden's week
- Golden sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.
- Ref: "Number Golden, that's a flag." Golden: "What flag?" Ref: "The one on the previous TD."
82%POTENCY
-17PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
- A single Jaguars jersey, ironically worn
- Powdered kicker confidence
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Golden drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Josh Jacobs
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Matthew Golden in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Matthew Golden is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Matthew Golden actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.