The Inch-Short Hex of Matthew Golden
Matthew Golden · GB · WR
“Golden gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Texas's biggest rival.” — Granny Gridiron
More ways the witch ruins Golden's week
- Golden is hit with a "pre-existing condition" that was not pre-existing until just now.
- Golden sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.
80%POTENCY
-16.7PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
- Powdered kicker confidence
Incantation
By the pale blue light of the injury tag,
Golden, hear me, and start to lag,
Your best play is a flag. Your worst is the bag.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Josh Jacobs
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Matthew Golden in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Matthew Golden is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Matthew Golden actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.