The Late Scratch Hex of Matthew Golden
Matthew Golden · GB · WR
“Golden tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Golden's week
- Golden is hit with a "pre-existing condition" that was not pre-existing until just now.
- Golden does a touchdown dance for a TD that is overturned by review. Slowly. With zoom.
92%POTENCY
-10.4PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single tear from a Vikings fan
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
Incantation
Golden, Golden, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Josh Jacobs
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Matthew Golden in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Matthew Golden is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Matthew Golden actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.