The Phantom Holding Hex of Matthew Golden
Matthew Golden · GB · WR
“Golden will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Golden's week
- Golden's coach discovers the run game at the exact moment Golden was due a breakout.
- A mysterious flag erases Golden's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.
89%POTENCY
-15.1PTS DRAINED
Delete the AppVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Golden's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Josh Jacobs
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Matthew Golden in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Matthew Golden is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Matthew Golden actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.