The Hamstring Hex of Matthew Golden
Matthew Golden · GB · WR
“Golden finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins Golden's week
- Golden gets shadowed by a corner who just signed an extension and needs to prove it.
- Golden's best play of the day happens on a play where he is not the ball carrier.
79%POTENCY
-16.3PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Chargers locker room
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Golden's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Josh Jacobs
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Matthew Golden in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Matthew Golden is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Matthew Golden actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.