The Intentional Grounding Hex of Matthew Stafford
Matthew Stafford · LAR · QB
“At 38, Stafford is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Stafford's week
- Stafford will throw for 340 yards and 0 touchdowns. The efficiency of a parking ticket.
- Stafford is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.
76%POTENCY
-13.7PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- An unused timeout (still warm)
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Stafford drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Josh Allen
- Puka Nacua
- Drake Maye
- Kyren Williams
- Joe Burrow
- Caleb Williams
- Jayden Daniels
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
FAQ
How do I curse Matthew Stafford in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Matthew Stafford is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Matthew Stafford actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.